For Real, Though

I am coming to grips with the realization that Christians aren’t supposed to be happy, 
well-adjusted robots who don’t have any problems, don't deal with sadness and depression, and don't have trouble with feeling like they're not good enough. 

God created me - every part of me. He created me to be who he wanted me to be. I am made in his image, with his purpose, and in his timing. 

I have trouble with self-esteem; God shows me how much he can do with me. 
I have trouble with depression; God gives me strength to survive. 
I feel lonely; God slowly works on making me love myself. 

I’m flawed and broken and empty, but so what?! Was Jesus always happy-go-lucky? Not in the garden; and that’s not the only example. 

The problem is that I want to talk about it, but people don’t like to know your problems. They like to think that everyone’s peachy and compare their flawed self-assessments to this ideal facade that they’ve believed about everyone else. 

Why don’t we talk about who we are? I don’t because I don’t feel like anyone wants to hear it. However, I am trying. 

I was privileged this week to have a nice conversation with my roommate about real life and real feelings. I was open and honest and so was he. We were real; we connected. We weren’t just two broken people wandering the world alone trying to be perfect reflections of God, we were family. We cared about each other. That’s what I want; that’s what I’m going for.